Even as they plan the next exciting season of York Revolution baseball, the crack reporting staff at PeoplesBank Park are on the job, answering the tough questions for you, the intrepid readers of The Revs Times. In this exclusive report, the people tasked with saving York County from the dull and ordinary find out just what they’re up against. We tasked the staff with compiling the most boring things in York and the surrounding area. They were aiming for 10 of the most mind-numbing activities in the White Rose City…and got bored and stopped at 9.
Still, it’s an exclusive you’ll find only here. (Seriously, we checked. No one else put themselves on the line to protect you.) Let these serve as a warning. If you find yourself engaging in any of these, you’ve begun a dangerous descent into dullness:
First, the runners-up:
- Go to work on the opening day of deer season. (Bonus points: Count the echoes when you finally break the silence to ask, “Anybody up for lunch?”)
- Challenge an uncooked hog maw to a staring contest. We know who we’re putting our money on. (SPOILER: It’s not you.)
- Actually read every email forwarded to you from distant acquaintances that says “Really Funny.” See how many times you actually laugh. (Pity laughs because Aunt Shirley sent them don’t count.)
And now, the top 9 most boring things to do in York:
- 9. Watch the trains roll back and forth across George Street, particularly when you are late to an appointment. For an added treat, put the car in park (don’t worry, you’ll have time) and walk down to see if that same train is blocking Queen Street, too. Then count how many times it rolls forward 40 feet, rolls back 40 feet, rolls forward 40 feet, and then backs away like it changed its mind.
- 8. Shop for eggs, milk, and bread during a snowstorm…along with all of your neighbors…in the entire tristate area.
- 7. Have long conversations with telemarketers to see who hangs up first. (Pro tip: When you start running out of things to say, pull out some of the funny emails from Aunt Shirley.)
- 6. Watch kids in overstuffed snowsuits struggle to the top of Reservoir Hill. Yeah, we know, it’s cute, but after the first 23 times….
- 5. Count the potholes on Interstate 83. Any part of it. Count all you want. We’ll make more.
- 4. Head out toward the outlets in Lancaster and see how many buggies you get stuck behind. See how many it takes before you start flipping off their drivers – and the horses. (We’re kidding, don’t do that. The horses wear blinders. They won’t see it.)
- 3. Watch county commissioner meetings on TV. Place an over-under on the number of times they use the phrases “the chair recognizes” or “now that’s what I call a party!” (Psst, take the under on that last one, trust us.)
- 2. Count how many “revolutions” (see what we did there?) the illuminated PeoplesBank Park sign makes in one minute – perhaps one of those 20 or so when you’re waiting on the train. No, again, we’re kidding. We work here and even we don’t know that.
And the No. 1 most boring thing to do in York – Debate which version of the same store is better – the one in East York, or the one in West York. Come on, don’t act like you don’t have an opinion. We’ve been there, and we’ve heard you. (And you’re wrong, by the way.)
Or, better yet, save yourself from the local variety of dull and boring. Bookmark www.yorkrevolution.com right now, download the Revolution app from the Apple or Google Play Store, and watch those spaces and more for the family-friendly, exciting, and list-free fun of York Revolution baseball and more!
- Compiled by the staff of PeoplesBank Park
(No hog maws were harmed in the compiling of this list…but we were tempted.)