Work for That Work Event!
(Don’t Even THINK About Taking the Convenient and Smart Option)
We all have to do it – the ubiquitous off-site planning session, the tried-and-true business-networking event, the obligatory employee-recognition ceremony. Since they are supposed to be work, we at Revs Times are here to help with a list of ways to make sure you as the host find the situation challenging and your guests don’t enjoy themselves too much. Remember, if you want to experience the thrill of learning the hard way, don’t work with the event champions at the York Revolution!
- Work with amateurs. When you work with an event professional, they will have planned your type of event before and might have ideas of typical pitfalls. You won’t have the opportunity to discover them for yourself and experience the adrenaline rush that comes when your boss asks whether you ordered her a gluten-free meal.
- Wait until the last minute. This limits your choice of dates and rooms and makes sure the room is either too big or too small for your group, maximizing attendee anxiety. By doing so, you can increase the chance they will be on their toes when called-upon to make their favorite animal sound as part of your icebreaker exercise. Or, go with option 2(b): choose a venue with limited choices of rooms. This will likely get you the same result of ensuring you are in a space that will make your attendees uncomfortable.
- Make sure there are no interesting views out the window. Looking out at – say – a beautiful professional baseball field will only distract from the keynote address by Floyd from the Sheboygan office. Why would you want to draw attention away from Floyd’s annual update on packing tape technology?
- Use a filmstrip projector for your visual aids. Modern technology is highly overrated. Plugging your laptop or USB stick into a projector provided by your host will simply leave you with extra time to fret over what could go wrong. Struggling with archaic technology will keep your mind off the minutes ticking off your parking meter.
- Limit the food options. Great food choices will simply raise the expectations of your guests, putting more pressure on you next time. Better to serve the same old, mundane stale sandwiches with shredded lettuce from a five-pound bag. And, remember, fresh-baked cookies such as those served at PeoplesBank Park lead to a warm, satisfied feeling that might interfere with your after-lunch brainstorming exercise.
- And most importantly: OVERPAY! A little pang of regret two weeks after your challenging experience will make sure the experience is seared into your memory.
What??? You decided to ignore our advice and work with a professional team of event planners, with a great selection of rooms and hospitality options, modern technology, an exciting environment and great food choices? Well, if you must, email Reed Gunderson at firstname.lastname@example.org and Reed will connect you with one of our crackerjack (get it?) team members to fulfill your every need.
-Eric Menzer, President, York Revolution